My name is Ella Carter, and I am currently 18 years old and a senior in high school. When I was 15 I was in a class with my now ex which later sparked a relationship. For the first few months, he was so sweet and had a personality that would grasp you and pull you in.
Eventually, the sweet guy I was dating turned into someone I would eventually despise. After a year and seven months, we decided we should break up after he had cheated on me multiple times. I thought we would be done for good since he already had a new girlfriend only two days after we broke up, but I was wrong.
For the next 2 years, he kept me under his control even while he dated other girls. He wouldn’t allow me to have a boyfriend or even talk to guys. He gave me multiple limitations such as no makeup, no swimming, no friends, to wear shirts that cover my butt and record everything I do. I was constantly being manipulated and mentally abused. If I didn’t do exactly what he wanted, he would blackmail and threaten me. If I disobeyed and did something he told me not to, he would scream in my face so intensely that his spit would hit my face or even break personal items of mine. He would put me down every day by calling me fat or ugly or both. He would punch things and throw things and throw furniture. One day, he punched my speaker in my car leaving me to scrape the skin from his fist out from the indents of the speaker.
He would threaten to kill me if I didn’t come to see him when he called. Of course, he only wanted one thing from me. He used anything and everything against me. At one point, my ex made me download a tracking app so that he could always know where I went, how fast I was going and if I used my phone while driving. He would check up on me by driving by the places I was supposed to be, like work, school, etc, and make sure I was actually there.
He ruined two and a half years of my high school career. I’m now a senior and I’m doing my best to overcome everything he put me through. I have grown a strong appreciation for everything I have missed out on the past few years. Even though I have flashbacks and mental breakdowns, I have gained a strong passion for life and everything in it. I gained pain and strength from his toxins. It’s going to be a long and hard battle through my recovery, but with the help of other survivors, I know it will be possible.
For anyone struggling, I offer a helping hand because I know what it’s like to be at the lowest of low. I almost ended my life because I thought that was the only option. However, today I am so thankful I never went through with it because life is beautiful even with the heartbreak we may endure in our lives. Anything is possible with support from friends and family.
Ella would love to be another survivor for others to be able to talk to for support, talking through struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, and lifting each other up throughout our healing process. Follow her on Instagram @overcomingabuse101 where she posts wonderful inspirational and uplifting posts about overcoming the difficulties we endure during our healing and overcoming abuse.