I have been asked the same dreadful question many times, including someone whom I deem rather important in my life. I am in complete shock that she, along with others, would dare ask me this question after knowing not only my story, but the bond I have with my mother. The question that, thanks to society and the warped mentality surrounding child abuse, people feel is okay to ask: “Are you angry at your mother?” This seems like a harmless question, however, this can also be a catalyst or trigger for misdirected anger.
Archives for February 2019
Listen to Your Unconscious Mind
I recently had a good friend of mine recommend the book, Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. I haven’t even finished it, yet I HAVE to post my insights on the book from the point of view of a survivor of narcissistic abuse. What parts of our minds truly knew what was happening to us while we were in these toxic relationships? Did my mind ever unconsciously sense that this relationship was going to be a bad one the first time we met our abusers? Can our unconscious sense the evil within the sweet, loving facade of narcissists even when our conscious mind could not? If so, at what point did our conscious mind finally pick up on what our unconscious mind could always see?
How Do I Know if My Significant Other is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are so good at what they do that most victims have no idea what kind of person they really are dating. It took me months to realize this even when I had friends and family telling me that they didn’t like my boyfriend, Alex, and didn’t support our relationship. Even after all of these statements were made, I still defended him and made excuses for him, especially saying things like “you don’t understand him as I do” or “you just have to give him a chance, he just comes off a little rough at first” or “he’s going through something right now, so he’s not himself”.
Even if there is some truth to those statements, this is another way we are trying to convince ourselves that everyone else is wrong and that you are in no danger. Unfortunately, that may not be the case.