There are countless innocent people who have the unfortunate opportunity to have a manipulator enter their life whether that is a friend, coworker, acquaintance, classmate, or worst of all… boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. These types of people are very good at deception which makes it difficult sometimes to notice their evil tactics of controlling people, especially when they lie to make it seem as if they truly care for you and are doing the things they are doing to make you “happy” or “more successful in life”. Here are some ways that you might be able to identify if someone you know or may seem to love might be a Master Manipulator, or what others might call a Narcissist.
Stealing My Innocence: Robyn-Lynn’s Story
For Robyn-Lynn’s discretion, names of family members and minor details have been changed.
Two weeks ago, I sat frozen in place after an all too familiar song found its way on my car radio. It had been a while since I last heard the song, at least a couple of years, but I do remember that there was a time in my life when this particular song was my favorite. A time I sometimes try to forget. I have never denied myself the memory of what happened to me when I was a child and I had always assumed that because I forced myself to remember that I would most likely be one of the few who would not have a trigger but somehow, I was wrong.
How Am I Supposed to Tell My Friends and Family?
One of the best ways to cope with the aftermath of the trauma you experienced is to form a support group. The only way to form this support group is by putting yourself out there and telling the ones you love what happened to you. This could be one of the hardest things you have to do during your healing process because you have to make yourself vulnerable, tell the people you love about something you may feel embarrassed or ashamed by, and you also have to relive the trauma over again. That last reason alone is extremely difficult to do. Our trust in others and ourselves is also extremely weak and rare at this moment in time. It’s not easy opening up about something terrible that happened. But I assure you that if you pray and take the time to think about who in your life you might want to open up to, you WILL find those in your life that you were meant to talk to. It was the most amazing experience whenever I felt the urge to tell a certain friend or family member about what happened to me. Each one of them was able to either relate to me in some way or was able to tell me something that I did not realize I needed to hear. They were also there for me in ways that I never knew I needed. They can be the people you need to talk to during the days in between therapy sessions. Typically after you do open up to loved ones, they tend to respond and handle the situation from here on out in two different ways: very well, understanding, supportive and helpful, OR confused, not sure of what to do, and tend to say the wrong things.
If you have a loved one that might need help knowing how to respond or react, refer them to my other blog post specifically for the loved ones of survivors.
How to Handle Bad Anxiety Days
Bad days can hit you out of nowhere. Sometimes, I can actually predict if a bad day will probably happen if I know I’ve pushed myself or had to talk a lot about my story the day before. Either way, when everything all started, I had no idea what I was up against. I had no idea if what I was feeling was what everyone else was feeling, or if this was how it was going to be for the rest of my life. Here are some things that I experience when I tend to have what I call, a bad day.