I recently had a good friend of mine recommend the book, Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. I haven’t even finished it, yet I HAVE to post my insights on the book from the point of view of a survivor of narcissistic abuse. What parts of our minds truly knew what was happening to us while we were in these toxic relationships? Did my mind ever unconsciously sense that this relationship was going to be a bad one the first time we met our abusers? Can our unconscious sense the evil within the sweet, loving facade of narcissists even when our conscious mind could not? If so, at what point did our conscious mind finally pick up on what our unconscious mind could always see?
How Do I Know if My Significant Other is a Narcissist?
Narcissists are so good at what they do that most victims have no idea what kind of person they really are dating. It took me months to realize this even when I had friends and family telling me that they didn’t like my boyfriend, Alex, and didn’t support our relationship. Even after all of these statements were made, I still defended him and made excuses for him, especially saying things like “you don’t understand him as I do” or “you just have to give him a chance, he just comes off a little rough at first” or “he’s going through something right now, so he’s not himself”.
Even if there is some truth to those statements, this is another way we are trying to convince ourselves that everyone else is wrong and that you are in no danger. Unfortunately, that may not be the case.
The Narcissist’s/Manipulator’s Hidden Agenda
There are countless innocent people who have the unfortunate opportunity to have a manipulator enter their life whether that is a friend, coworker, acquaintance, classmate, or worst of all… boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. These types of people are very good at deception which makes it difficult sometimes to notice their evil tactics of controlling people, especially when they lie to make it seem as if they truly care for you and are doing the things they are doing to make you “happy” or “more successful in life”. Here are some ways that you might be able to identify if someone you know or may seem to love might be a Master Manipulator, or what others might call a Narcissist.
Stealing My Innocence: Robyn-Lynn’s Story
For Robyn-Lynn’s discretion, names of family members and minor details have been changed.
Two weeks ago, I sat frozen in place after an all too familiar song found its way on my car radio. It had been a while since I last heard the song, at least a couple of years, but I do remember that there was a time in my life when this particular song was my favorite. A time I sometimes try to forget. I have never denied myself the memory of what happened to me when I was a child and I had always assumed that because I forced myself to remember that I would most likely be one of the few who would not have a trigger but somehow, I was wrong.