I recently had a good friend of mine recommend the book, Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. I haven’t even finished it, yet I HAVE to post my insights on the book from the point of view of a survivor of narcissistic abuse. What parts of our minds truly knew what was happening to us while we were in these toxic relationships? Did my mind ever unconsciously sense that this relationship was going to be a bad one the first time we met our abusers? Can our unconscious sense the evil within the sweet, loving facade of narcissists even when our conscious mind could not? If so, at what point did our conscious mind finally pick up on what our unconscious mind could always see?
How Am I Supposed to Tell My Friends and Family?
One of the best ways to cope with the aftermath of the trauma you experienced is to form a support group. The only way to form this support group is by putting yourself out there and telling the ones you love what happened to you. This could be one of the hardest things you have to do during your healing process because you have to make yourself vulnerable, tell the people you love about something you may feel embarrassed or ashamed by, and you also have to relive the trauma over again. That last reason alone is extremely difficult to do. Our trust in others and ourselves is also extremely weak and rare at this moment in time. It’s not easy opening up about something terrible that happened. But I assure you that if you pray and take the time to think about who in your life you might want to open up to, you WILL find those in your life that you were meant to talk to. It was the most amazing experience whenever I felt the urge to tell a certain friend or family member about what happened to me. Each one of them was able to either relate to me in some way or was able to tell me something that I did not realize I needed to hear. They were also there for me in ways that I never knew I needed. They can be the people you need to talk to during the days in between therapy sessions. Typically after you do open up to loved ones, they tend to respond and handle the situation from here on out in two different ways: very well, understanding, supportive and helpful, OR confused, not sure of what to do, and tend to say the wrong things.
If you have a loved one that might need help knowing how to respond or react, refer them to my other blog post specifically for the loved ones of survivors.
How Can I Help Someone I Love Who Is A Survivor?
Someone you love, whether that is a daughter, son, sister, brother, or friend has just told you that they have been sexually assaulted or something like it. How should you respond or react? What are the best actions for you to take from here? Is it okay for you to feel grief and sorrow? Many loved ones of survivors have had these exact thoughts. Here are some ways to help you be able to be the best help to your loved one who has gone through trauma like this.